Weigh-in Wednesday: Feb. 14, 2024

Swimming the chocolate seas from Temptation Island

You're on a diet. You're losing weight. You're doing well. You feel good for the first time in years. You have this new feeling – what's the opposite of disgust? Pride. You feel pride.

Then the little devil on your shoulder says, “Give yourself a little treat. You EARNED it.” You glance over at your other shoulder to see what the little angel says, but she's at a step aerobics class. So, you have a treat.

Then the shoulder devil says, “Well, since we're already being naughty today, today doesn't count. Eat whatever you want. The diet can start again tomorrow.” And you look for the angel, but now she's off watching a webinar on gut health. So, you pig out all day.

You want the diet to start again tomorrow, but life happens. Stress happens. Without thinking, you reach for the carbs. What the heck? What's one more day? You blow your diet again.

Now that feeling of pride is gone – replaced by feelings of regret. You step on the scale, and all of the progress you made over the last few weeks has been undone in just a few days. The pain and effort of losing all that weight – you have to go through it, again, just to reach a point you had already struggled to reach.

Your energy sags. You beat yourself up. How could I be so dumb? Your willpower to keep going is suddenly nowhere to be found. The little devil mumbles something about having to check the oven and disappears. The angel is back with a pamphlet for Ozempic. You WERE doing so great. WHAT HAPPENED?

This is a pattern I have repeated many, many times in my life. I call it Diet Sabotage. Diet Sabotage is the tendency to succumb to temptation while you're dieting at the exact moment when staying disciplined will net very real progress.

Why do we self-sabotage? On the surface level, I suspect because it's easy. It's easier to say yes to sugar than it is to say no. On a deeper level, it could be fear of change.

I'm not saying this is true, but the mind works in mysterious ways – losing weight is like admitting some part of your old self was bad. Bad because you lacked the discipline to change up your nutrition before, or you lacked the willpower not to eat a lot. Weight loss is an investment in Future You, but it's also quietly an indictment on Past You. Dieting is a struggle for the control of your identity, and it takes place in a stressful world where Cool Ranch Doritos are always within reach.

The first step to overcoming Diet Sabotage is, of course, to recognize that it exists. Years ago, I became aware of the pattern. And once I saw the pattern … I still let it happen again and again. I needed a strategy. Here's mine:

1. Remove temptation

Don't buy food you know will break your will. Don't stop at the break table at work when snacks are out. Put the booze in the basement or up high in the cupboard so it's not RIGHT THERE in front of you at the end of a long day. Drink coffee. Chug water. At social gatherings, take the smallest amount of whatever dessert is offered, have a bite or two in front of your host and quickly and quietly discard the rest.

If it's not there, you can't eat it.

It's simple physics, really.

“That which is not there, cannot be there.” – ¹Archimedes

2. Exercise

I know some people who say you should be leery of coupling exercise with dieting because the exercise gives you permission to eat more because, hey, you exercised! I look at exercise more like – this is serious. WE ARE DOING THIS. The commitment is total. This is the program. The program is good. The program is rock solid. The program gets results.

3. In times of temptation, picture Future You

My picture of myself isn't a physical one. I'm not ripped with six-pack abs. I don't think that will ever be me. I picture myself playing with my kids all summer and never tiring. (But also, OK, my love handles are no longer visible, and I look great in an Under Armour long-sleeve crew shirt, BUT IT'S MAINLY ABOUT THE KIDS.) The more weight I lose, the better I sleep and feel. I don't want to go back to the old ways of always feeling like I just got hit by a truck. I like this new feeling.

There are now some days, when I get enough sleep and eat the right amount of food and move my body enough, when I feel different. I've never been high, but that's what it feels like to me – kind of a natural high. And I wonder to myself, “Is what I'm feeling now actually the feeling of normal, and I haven't been in touch with it for so long because I wasn't in touch with healthy living?” Is normal actually an awesome feeling? More of that, please.

Drum roll, please...

Starting weight: 187

Last week: 179

This week: 179

Goal: 170

Feeling: Locked in. The program is good. The program is rock solid...

Shout-outs

Michell wrote: Yaaay Joe!! Congratulations on finally breaking thru the fat ceiling, if i may call it that. I’m very very proud of you and impressed because that would have been the point I threw in my greasy-food smeared napkin and kicked this experiment to the curb! However, though I have been quiet now for a few weeks, much to your misguided hopes I am back. My plan to just eat less once i moved has been going well for me, in large part because 'the home' serves items I dislike quite frequently and also because I REALLY feel like a hog asking for a second plate in front of all the old folks.

I’m also reminded of when I was younger and had to eat just enough to prevent my folks from worrying about me, so I’d size up the plate placed before me and mentally decide to eat a quarter of the plate, or maybe half if I really liked it. So far I’m not usually entirely successful at doing that at 48 rather than 8 but I do eat less than the entire meal. I find I’m feeling better when I leave the table, instead of feeling like I need to be rolled away physically a la Violet Beauregard in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And then I had to stay at my parents’ for a day and a half and I think I’ve completely undone all my good work!

Anyway, the results:

Starting weight 1/6/24: 145

Today’s weight 2/8/24: 141.5

I’m happy with that. Just under a pound a week without true exercise is awesome in my book!!

Hey Michell – Glad to hear you're making progress and that you might be the first person in human history to use the food in a group living facility to your advantage. I used to work in such a place – I was in charge of making the salad bar every day. I opened a lot of cans of cottage cheese. More than any man should. Still haunted by it. (On the plus side, the residents were lovely. So long as you didn't stand between them and the cottage cheese. That's when you might get a fork to the chest.)

Laura wrote: I have so many questions about weight loss, but I'm still plugging away at what I know. For example, I have a digital scale and weigh myself every day. Every day the weight is the same down to the ounce....and then one day it isn't. Why doesn't it show a few ounces every few days instead of the 1.2 that suddenly appeared today? I mean, I'll take it, but a couple ounces now and then show a little encouragement.

It has taken me eleven months since I began this latest journey, but I finally hit the 20 pound mark. I started at 168 after sitting around the house recuperating from rotator cuff surgery, to 147.5 this morning. My goal is 135 and it seems miles away....but hopefully I'm not going anywhere so I'll keep at it.

And we all seem to be obsessed with Violet Beauregard.

Congratulations and I hope to hear (read) more good news next week.

Laura – Congrats on 20! You have come so far. I hope you stop and think about that.

As for the scale thing, it happened to me, too, all week. I was at 179.0 for five straight days. How is this even scientifically possible, I kept wondering. The same weight? I Googled around, and it turns out this happens to a lot of people who have digital scales. They recommend weighing yourself first while holding something heavy. The scale will reset with the new weight, so when you get on again, post-reset, it won't show the same weight you've weighed for days on end and will register your actual weight. I'm going to try this and will report back next week.

Yes, Violet Beauregard has emerged as the patron saint of this entire endeavor.

Eyes on the prize, Violet, eyes on the prize.

Erin wrote: Keep it up! I am a huge Lose It fan and also own a food scale. I now aim to WEIGH EVERYTHING so I don't have to wash measuring cups. It is a game-changer. I love reading your writing and I love hearing about your progress. I'm on my own fitness journey to drop the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas indulgences and ensure that I do not turn into a shriveled up old lady with no muscle on my bones. But I'm proud of you for not giving up. Way to go!

Thanks, Erin. It is great to hear from you. Good luck on your fitness journey. It's important to get your body right, and for old ladies to finally get some skin in the game when comes to having savage delts and traps : )

1. Archimedes has never been quoted saying that. But he may have said it. You don't know.