A Pirate Looks at Empathy
Sometimes you read something, and it jogs a memory, and you realize you have a story inside you should have written already. Leyla Kazim wrote a note that’s going viral about waiting for the subway and watching a man get sick, and then helping him.
You should read it.
It reminded me of a lesson I learned that involves my wife being an exceptional person.
In 2021, we attended what would turn out to be Jimmy Buffett’s last show at Blossom Music Center in Northeast Ohio. We bought the tickets to celebrate our 10-year anniversary and to celebrate doing non-pandemic things like going to concerts again. The show was great, but what I will always remember is what happened after.
For those of you who have never been, Blossom is an outdoor music venue. You park on the grass, which hell yeah is why you bought that $50,000 SUV, for tough off-road missions like this, chief. In the parking lot next to your Chevy Revolverado 3000 is where you drink and smoke various substances and make new friends with whom you exchange numbers but never actually contact. That is the code. If you’re still ambulatory, it’s a 10-minute walk to the venue, which has both pavilion and lawn seating. I prefer the lawn because you have more room to dance or maybe take a seven-song “nap” while your preferred artist plays his new stuff. Also, many people on the lawn are sloshed (did I mention the drinking?) and you see strange couple pairings and tattoos that challenge everything you thought you knew.
The show was great. If you have been to one Buffett concert, you have sort of seen them all, and that is their charm. The tour themes changed throughout the years, but the energy was always there. The guy never once mailed it in – out of respect for the audience.
After the show, along the path back to the car, Jen spotted a guy leaning against a fence, sort of away from the crowd. He was clearly having a tough time. People were making fun of him. The crowd, which was drunk, assumed he was drunk, and said things like, “Good job holding that fence up!” He was, I should note, a big fella, which I think made it easier for people to make fun of him. It’s funny, to some people, if a guy is both fat and hammered. Not a lot of sympathy for the overly self-indulgent.
Jen said, “Let’s see if he’s OK,” and I’ll be honest – if it was just me, I wouldn’t have made fun of him, but I would have kept on walking. Not my problem. But my wife has a big heart and suffers fools gladly – our marriage is proof.
So, we walk over to see if he’s OK, and I’m expecting a drunken wreck, and I’m wrong. He’s winded. He’s exhausted. He can’t walk for long stretches — that’s his problem. We introduce ourselves, and he says thanks, he’ll be fine. Jen won’t take no for an answer. We say something like, “We’ll walk with you just for a little bit.” He’s OK with that.
His car was less than a mile away, and we stopped every hundred feet or so for him to catch his breath. Along the way, he told us his story. He lived a few hours away. Came to the show alone. Was a huge Buffett fan but had never seen him live. Because of the pandemic, he rarely left the house anymore, and it was clear he lived a sedentary life.
We walked. Stopped. Walked. Stopped. Walked. Stopped. Walked some more. Stopped some more. Chatting along the way. Like old pals. We told him Jimmy Buffett was part of our origin story as a couple. Jimmy is special in our house. (It’s not everyone our family names a fish after.)
We had trouble finding his car in the dark, which he felt bad about, but we didn’t mind. After about an hour, our 10-minute walk came to an end, and we hugged goodbye to our concert friend, and he thanked us. Then we walked several lots over to where our car was the last one in the field. It took us so long to leave that – Blossom visitors will understand this – there was NO TRAFFIC on the way out.
I should think about that night more than I do. My wife took a path I would not have chosen, and I’m thankful. True kindness takes patience and can be inconvenient, but there is some kind of magic in helping someone who is invisible suddenly feel visible.
Read more:
Hot take: Jimmy Buffet is a great storyteller / songwriter and doesn’t get enough respect! Wish I’d seen him live 🙁
I’m a little sad that no other parrot heads stopped to help that man but good for your wife!
"have kept on walking. Not my problem. But my wife has a big heart and suffers fools gladly – our marriage is proof."
HAHAHAHA damn that's funny, and ditto for my wife and I. However, since I was a first responder in the past, I have this uncanny desire to run towards danger or people in distress, sometimes though I can tell which situation to avoid. Great post!